I Am You Need To Be
I am you need to be—are our expectations towards cohabitants fixed and labeled? Have we assigned cohabitants an object-status?
A private place is highly valuable to retreat to and serves as a psycho-hygienic counter-balance to the bustling urban public spaces. However sharing private space is for many people a necessity at some point in their life. What about yourself? Most likely you have been in a situation where you had to find a roommate. Maybe your old roommate had to move out, or you needed to fill one extra space. You were lonely and wanted a permanent person around, or simply because you were short of money and had to rent out your pantrys for a couple of month. Either way you can probably relate to some bizarre stories of the procedure of finding this new roommate. No question, choosing the perfect roommate is quite an endeavor. Especially within densely populated urban areas a certain pattern of communication has become popular in order to deal with the complex task of finding the right roommate-match and save time and money on both sides of the enterprise: the room renters and the room searchers. It is to articulate in the ad what the renter is looking for. These ads are typically published on the internet. One main pool, which serves as the data pool for my project I AM YOU NEED TO BE is the platform “craigslist”(www.craigslist.com), which allows anyone to post ads (rooms / shared) free of charge and without any limits on the word count. It is thus a perfect opportunity for the renter to state exactly what he/she is looking for in a potential roommate and at the same time to advertise the place and make him/her look enjoyable to live with.
A stranger is going to move into your private space. You want to make sure that the boundaries are stated right away. Being most descriptive about your expectations will hopefully keep the creeps and lunatics away. Yes, this is definitely one way to think about it. But I am more interested in how the ads are constructed and why they are written the way they are. What is expressed and typical for all these ads regarding profiles of the self and encounters of the potential roommate? My analysis of about 50 ads of craigslist during 4 months in 2009 showed that many ads follow a certain pattern, just like the example of Paul:
$850 - 1 Room in two Bedroom Apartment (Hollywood)
I AM: Paul, male in my 30, vegetarian and athlete, looking for a male Roommate who works evenings. Bartender, Waiter... That way we maximize our personal time. I like, want and need my privacy and my quiet times. I am in Construction/Engineering. Therefore, I work days. You nights. See. My home is comfortable one that is not busy with foot traffic. You are welcome to have your friends over but always with digression.
Although I eat very healthy (almost all organic), don’t diet, use non-toxic cleaning products, and am into recycling as much as possible. It would be great if you had a similar lifestyle, i.e., use non-chemically based bath products, don’t diet or have eating disorders.
YOU NEED TO BE: You need to be SPIRITUAL, FRIENDLY, open minded, respectful, warm, RESPONSIBLE, emotionally mature, NEAT & CLEAN, NO DRAMA, NO-DRUGS, easy-going and non-smoking. Must have a healthy ability to communicate. If there is a problem I don’t expect we are to stop speaking with each other. This isn’t a sign of maturity that I am looking for. You should be social and mature. Not a lot to ask.
I am very happy and well balanced and easy going. I would appreciate that you come in the same manner. I'm not looking for a soulmate, I'm looking for a roommate, but a few beers over intelligent conversation sounds quite alright.
About the place: $850.00 plus $500 Deposit. Rent includes utilities, internet, NO cable TV, 1 parking spot, building has a laundry facility and elevator. The room has a large walk in closet is unfurnished and you have your own bathroom.
Please only apply if you currently live in the metropolitan Los Angeles Area.
No pets at all
Thank You.
What is striking, is that people like Paul do not concentrate on writing about the place that is for rent anymore. People's specifications and combinations of likings and habits are spelled out to the outmost details. Why is it, that e.g. to practice yoga and to prefer comedy over drama becomes an obligatory prerequisite for a potential person to share the home with. Do these intricate combinations have any relevance in creating a harmonious household?
Apparently it does, considering today’s fast pace, young professional urban society, where career changes, occupational travel and single life style are involved and require an increasing demand on roommate situations outside of college dorms. Creating a professional, balanced, and friendly home, in a villa in a fancy neighborhood with 4 people instead of living in a small single apartment in somewhere on the edge of a city -- isn't this more appealing!?
"I AM", is neither established enough to own a house or an apartment yet, nor ready to move in with a spouse, maybe single and lonely, or just always wanting company. Maybe it has restorative reasons, or human congregated ones, ...
Paul (but not just him) is definitely not looking for something more than just a roommate but someone one that just puts the cash on the table at the end of the month. In his specifications a roommate is a pure necessity to be able to pay the bills. It almost feel as if he doesn't want to give up his extra space for a stranger but has no other choice. He created this “cookie-cutter specification”, which needs to be exactly filled with the new roommate's characteristic otherwise he would not be comfortable in his own home anymore.